Have Two Paroxysms And Call Me in the Morning

Thrilled to have guest blogger Sharon Clare- author of Love of Her Lives, back on the blog today. She has been published in Ontario Art Review, Short Story Library, Quick Brown Fox and Life to Life Magazine. Love of Her Lives, Sharon’s sensual romance, is available from Crimson Romance. Please join me in welcoming Sharon Clare.

After I read Jessica’s Monday post about the furor cause by classic remakes, and her musing over is it the sex, I rewrote my guest article for today. I’m not familiar with the criticism regarding Total E-Bound, but I do have a story to share on women’s sexuality that is steeped in the classic era.

I listened to the tail-end of a CBC radio program recently discussing women’s hysteria and sexuality. The discussion centred around the movie Hysteria, which is quite the hoot. Set in Victorian England, the movie is based on the true story of the doctor who patented the first vibrator. Yes, vibrator, and it wasn’t to massage achy shoulder muscles.

I’ve not seen the movie, but caught the gist from the radio show.

So imagine this. An unhappy woman visits the doctor and is diagnosed with hysteria. She could be suffering anything from anxiety to depression to boredom. Without modern medicine, how would a doctor treat such a condition? How to relieve pent-up tension? I dare say.

Brain-wave! Using what must have been a very scientific hand manipulation, the doctor gives the woman a pelvic massage that results in (quite a) release, aka “paroxysm”, aka orgasm. Halleluiah. Hysteria, be gone. We have a cure!

They don’t pay doctors the big bucks for nothing.

All is bliss for this doctor’s patients, but as you can well imagine, word gets around, and his waiting room is soon over-flowing with untreated women—his fingers worn to the bone. Blimey, he’s bloody well exhausted. Too many hysterical patients for two mere hands.

Enter the age of electricity, and the doctor is first in line. Now he must have relief and the first women’s vibrator is born!

For his purpose.

But really, like icing a sprain, couldn’t women now treat their own hysteria? Could the doctor send his patients home with their own vibrators?

Apparently not. Nope. Nada. When women demanded vibrators for their personal use, doctors said no.

When Sears catalogue offered vibrators, doctors sued. No. No. No.

You can’t just give women control of their own paroxysms. Imagine the mayhem. Dinner, late to the table. Husbands in public with wrinkles in their shirts. Dust bunnies accumulating under furniture while women self-treat again—and it’s only noon.

Of course, things have changed, right? We’ve come a long way, baby, and all that. We’re even allowed to read a sexy romance in prelude to paroxysms. We’re even reading Fifty Shades of Grey on the subway.

For a giggle, check out the trailer for Hysteria.

If you’d like some feel-good-prelude-to-paroxysm romance, please take a look at my sexy paranormal novel, Love of Her Lives. Available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, Google Play (for epub file) and wherever e-books are sold.

Calum and Beth are soul mates who have lived many lives together, lusting, loving, and dying for each other. While their lives are often turbulent, their eternal bond is secure—or so Calum thinks—until Beth decides to live a life on her own. Left behind in the Upper World, he sees a wrongful imprisonment in her future, so he bargains with Finn, an elven trickster, to return to Earth, rescue Beth, and reclaim her heart. Unfamiliar with the twenty-first century, he must determine who plots against Beth while playing Finn’s sensual game, a game designed to awaken her repressed passion and keep them on the run together.

Beth has no recollection of their lives together and didn’t ask this sexually charged stranger to come to her aid. When she takes a risk to help an abused woman, she is horrified to find her house ransacked and her life threatened. With a secret to keep, she takes the greatest risk of all—trusting Calum. Her life soon depends upon re-evaluating everything she thought normal as she becomes embroiled in Finn’s game. Her eternal bond with Calum will only be saved if Beth can rescue the man who spanned worlds to rescue her.

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24 Comments

Filed under guest post

24 responses to “Have Two Paroxysms And Call Me in the Morning

  1. Okay, gotta share the fun over here today, eh?

    I knew that hot writer of twisted fairy tale steam would nab you and Love of Her Lives for a guest blog.

    The story of women, hysteria, and paroxysms is too funny! Too bad I don’t write historical Romantic Comedy. Oh. Wait. It’s already been done, hasn’t it? (I skipped any paragraphs that didn’t include the words Paroxysms and Orgasms. *blush*…or, not)

    Great article, Sharon. But, then, I would expect nothing less from the lyrical, sensual voice that wrote LOHL.

  2. Oh, we HAVE come a long way baby. I loved this post, Sharon.

  3. Good morning, Sharon!

    Two giggles and a good old fashioned belly laugh. Glad I wasn’t sipping my tea. Too funny. I can understand the doctor’s concern. Like any medicine, too many paroxysms could be dangerous. Misdiagnosis, miisapplication, addiction, and total societal breakdown!

    Egads.

    • So, I wonder when we did win the right to um, fix, ourselves? Obviously we women are dangerous creatures when let loose. Just look at our ability to screw up an election! LOL Sharon!

      • stlaurec

        Jessica, you have a point there, election wise. There are still men who want to control women’s bodies. Hysteria!

      • LOL, Jessica. And yes, that’s the point here. Women had handed over not just their body, but their errr release to this doctor. What does that do to a person’s sexuality. Or perhaps they thought they had one up on him. Who knows.

    • It’s too funny, isn’t it- societal breakdown! He really should have served banana bread in his waiting room.

      • Ack! Why am I so reply-challenged. Meant this reply to go with Sherry because only she’ll know why that doctor should have banana bread in his waiting room. That’s a whole other story in keeping with the theme!

  4. Okay, this is just too funny, Sharon! I’m having a paroxysm myself. Yesterday I wrote a review for Joe Bunting’s new book and he picked up my line about not being this excited since I first discovered sex. You and I are stepping out of our staid selves, it seems. And on the same day. Thanks for the chuckles.

    • Lol, I saw that comment of yours, Elaine, and thought like minds are thinking alike this week. You’ll have to check out Gloria Richard’s blog yesterday–she’s the one who got me started!

  5. stlaurec

    Sharon,

    Giggling all alone in my bathroom this morning. Was feeling kind of blue, so thank you for righting the start of my day!

  6. Keith Labastide

    Well, well well, when you least expect it, there you go…. You learn something new.
    Great story, hope you hold down this guest spot quite often.

  7. Too fun. I was aware of the history but I’m always amused by it. Woody Allen even alluded to it in his movie A Midsummer Night’s Sex Comedy. Makes me wonder though, what those repressed husbands weren’t doing for their poor neglected wives.

    • Yes, good point, Tara. I wondered that too. What did these husbands think of this ‘treatment’? I wonder how many neglected wives disclosed this to their husbands or if details were saved for coffee time with the ladies.

  8. Great blog, Sharon! It would be great to see your friends, family, co-worker’s faces when you said, “Oh, yeah. I’m blogging today on the advent of the vibrator.” And I’ve been worrying about running out of blog ideas. You made me see that the world is full of them! Thanks for sharing!

  9. Too funny, M.J. My 24 year old daughter was just here chatting, but mom’s the word on the vibrator story!

  10. Here I am at work laughing over vibrators being sold in the Sears catalog and then doctors suing over it. We certainly have come a long way!

  11. Pingback: Three Hot Paranormal Romance Authors and Three Hot Trailers | JessicaAspenWrites

  12. Pingback: What’s Your Number? with Paranormal Author Sharon Clare | JessicaAspenWrites

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